Sexuality | The Bigger Picture

Think Bigger Picture | Discussions About Big Picture Issues That Really Matter

Think Big Picture on People | The Bigger Picture

Discussion #37 - Human Sexuality

The actual act of sexual intercourse (although extremely important and enjoyable) is just a small fraction of what sexuality really means in our modern culture. It is woven into the social fabric of our lives to a degree that is commonly underestimated.

The most common misunderstanding about human sexuality is that although there are only two sexes, there are an infinite number of "shades of grey" in the male/female spectrum, as well as a few overtly different orientations. Most people are basically aware of this, but normally don't stop to analyze it much (something I enjoy doing a lot of).

While there are many men and women who are definitely at the extreme ends of the spectrum (either way), the majority of human beings are actually somewhere in the middle (of their gender). Many of these people are somewhat in denial of this fact, and will pretend they are at the correct extreme for social acceptance/ego/perceived significance reasons.

A good example of this would be sports talk. The biggest reason for this common obsession (with most guys) is not the sport itself. It's commonly used to test/probe/convey the idea that those involved are indeed extremely male in sexual orientation. For females, it's not as big of a deal to demonstrate this to others verbally, but the same principle does apply. A good example of this would be the common obsession with hair, makeup, nails, etc.

Our sexuality is a big part of who we are, and greatly affects how and who we interact with on a daily basis. Biologically, we all have both male and female hormones coursing through our veins, it's just a question of how much of each. There are also biological differences in our neurology that have nothing to do with the endocrine system (our natural hormone factory) at all.

There is also a vast difference in the degree of how interested/sexual each of us is (and this also normally declines with age). Some are obsessed/oozing with sexuality, some are not. Neither way is better, just different. In reality, the main purpose of sexuality is for procreation, so that our species does not die off (nature's little trick). Any purposes above this are purely for entertainment, health, or social reasons (also very important).

Many try to generalize, pigeon-hole, or predict the chances of a person succeeding in life, based in part on their sexuality. This is impossible to do with any form of accuracy, as human beings (and life in general) are far too complex. Some extremely macho men (no disrespect intended) are going to succeed, some aren't. Some extremely feminine and/or sexual women will succeed in life and some will not. This one aspect of life determines nothing. What determines the outcome of a person's life has far more to do with will power (which we control), than genetics (which we do not).

Heterosexual (straight) men with a strong feminine side (commonly referred to as "girly men") are generally pretty popular with the ladies, but not always with other men. They are generally just as interested in sex (often more), and are normally very good at it. They are also often far less aggressive in nature. While this combination appeals to most women, there are many who prefer the higher level of aggression. Everyone is different, and these differences in personality help to make life far more interesting. Instead of judging others who are different from ourselves as being automatically inferior (which is how most people really feel deep down inside), enjoy these differences. Variety is the spice of life, and this is not just some cute expression. It really does make life far more enjoyable than it would be otherwise, assuming there is a respect for these differences.

There is another sexual "difference" that is seen as being a fairly "big" deal to some. Although the female sexual experience is 90% emotional intimacy driven, the 10% physical component is definitely affected by a little expression called "size does matter". Just not the way most people think. It's not "one size fits all", but more compatibility. Just as men vary in size, so do women. Body proportions are generally fairly consistent throughout the entire body. A good indicator would be foot shape/size, fingers and arm length, etc. For some women, bigger is definitely better, but for others it's just painful. Bragging rights aside, pain is not normally a great sexual turn-on. We humans compete in everything, and this one is definitely no exception.

Sexuality is a very big deal when we are young (and for good reason), but it's significance and our natural chemistry production diminish as we age. We are biological creatures, and this powerful force in our lives is intended to keep our species going. Many will try and "keep the ball rolling" in a defiant, "denial of aging" fashion, but it is what it is. Other aspects of life start to take it's place in importance and this is ok. Personally I'm not really looking forward to this reality, but I don't really fear it either. For those who refuse to eventually "throw in the towel" on this aspect of life, there is always the little blue pill.

Think Bigger Picture on Sexuality | The Bigger Picture